Actually What is Coaching?
Photo by @charlesdeluvio on Unsplash
"Coaching" is an overused word.
Most people have heard of it. Few people truly understand it, unless you have experienced Professional Coaching first hand at work.
For many, coaching conjures images of sports. I studied Sports Science at Loughborough University, and I remember my volleyball coach drilling into us the values of excellence, being the best, always staying ahead and a lot of shouting!
Others may think coaching is therapy dressed up in another word by unqualified people, involving hours of crying and emotional breakdowns. Or on the opposite extreme, they assume coaching is about performance improvement, expecting to be told what to do and follow a proven model to excel.
Both are wrong.
What coaching actually is
The International Coaching Federation (ICF) defines coaching as "partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximise their personal and professional potential."
I am aligned with this.
For me, coaching is about creating a safe environment, free of judgement, in which the coachee can solve their own problems by examining areas they might not usually explore, to achieve an objective in a fixed period of time.
This process creates self-awareness.
Notice what's missing? The coach doesn't tell you what to do. The coach doesn't fix your problems. The coach doesn't have the answers.
The coach holds space for you to find your own.
Holding a safe space for someone
Building trust is a given when coaching. But holding a safe space can be hard to do, because we are brought up in a judgemental society where we're compared to our peers continuously, at school, socially, and throughout our careers.
We're wired to judge everyone, everything, and most often, ourselves.
This is why a coach continuously works on their own self-awareness to be fully present and adopt a neutral posture. This allows them to make the difference between their own emotional baggage and the baggage the coachee brings into the session.
In a coaching stance, we effectively act as a mirror to reflect what the coachee may not see themselves, encouraging different ways of looking at a situation or themselves.
This is why professional coaches are often recommended to undergo therapy alongside their training, to be aware of their own wiring and triggers, so they don't project their own views of the world when interpreting the situations shared.
A coach merely reformulates what they hear at the service of the coachee to encourage self-reflection. Literally, like a mirror.
Words of caution
This posture isn't sustainable in everyday life for a coach.
As coaches, we have our own singularities and views of the world which make us who we are as individuals. This is why we refer to being in our coaching "posture" or "stance."
We have our own emotional triggers like anyone. We're human. We just know how to temporarily set them aside to hold space for someone else.
Holding a safe space for teams
Building a trusted relationship is needed to hold a safe space for teams to share openly and speak their actual truth without fearing consequences.
Having leadership's sponsorship and permission to do this is key. This can be done by setting ground rules at the beginning of a workshop, no judgement, active listening, confidentiality.
It's when people are given permission to really speak openly that the real source of the problem is usually uncovered.
When problems are identified by a team themselves, they become the best resources to solve it together. By coming up with the solution themselves and being made accountable, teams are more likely to take action.
This drives behaviour change with impact in an organisation.
The coach merely runs a carefully designed process which encourages self-awareness. They don't solve the problem themselves. However, they can help identify what the real source of a problem is.
A coach's own personal development is an asset
High impact can be attained by running a process or proven models of questioning or reflection.
But in my opinion, a coach's own personal development can add tremendous value to the quality of neutrality and therefore the safety element. This allows space for deeper and more transformative work to take place.
My intention when I put myself through this process was to better serve coachees individually and in teams by holding a high-quality and safe space for them.
While this self-discovery journey has been painful and disruptive to my life, it has also been healing. I am delighted that this now allows me to better support others.
What coaching is not
Let me be clear about what coaching isn't:
Not consulting: A consultant tells you what to do based on their expertise. A coach helps you discover what to do based on yours.
Not therapy: Therapy typically focuses on healing past wounds. Coaching focuses on moving forward toward future goals.
Not mentoring: A mentor shares their experience and advice. A coach helps you find your own path.
Not training: Training teaches you new skills. Coaching helps you apply the skills you already have.
All of these have value. They're just not the same thing. Different postures for different purposes.
Why this matters
According to research by the ICF Global Coaching Study, 80% of people who receive coaching report increased self-confidence, and over 70% benefit from improved work performance, relationships, and communication skills.
But these benefits only happen when coaching is understood and applied correctly.
If you expect a coach to tell you what to do, you'll be frustrated. If you expect a coach to fix your problems, you'll be disappointed. If you expect a coach to give you the answers, you've misunderstood the entire process.
Coaching works when you're ready to do the work yourself, with someone holding space for you to see what you couldn't see alone.
Your Self-Science
Have you ever had a coach? How did it impact your professional life?
What results did you get from coaching?
If you haven't experienced coaching, what assumptions are you making about what it is?
Are you ready to explore areas you don't usually examine?
If these truths resonate and you are curious for more: Follow me on LinkedIn, and visit The Self-Science Lab for more info.
Written by: Lauren Cartigny, Leadership Trainer, Executive Coach and Mindfulness Practitioner
Following a successful international corporate career in Sales for leading Tech firms, Lauren faced an unexpected burnout, life and health crisis. After re-building her life, transforming her career, and healing her body, heart and mind, Lauren has created transformative coaching and training programs to teach High-Performance from a place of Well-Being to prevent burnout, and employee churn in organisations.